I have been quite lately. I am going through some issues so I decided just to be off the net for a little bit. Everything is fine though. As they say this too shall pass. Right now I am listening to the Beatles and thought I would share this great video.

slowily raising head from Harry Potter book to say hi!! Will post when I am done. Does it make me a bad mommy that I look forward for Kiley's bedtime so I can read it?

Holy Crap the Wiggles are coming!!!
Background history Kiley somehow (we are still not sure how this happened) saw the Wiggles for the first time around Christmas time. Our house has not been the same since. To say she loves the Wiggles is an understatement. So as any good mother I signed up to their fan club and low and behold I got an email today that they have added dates to their tour and they are coming to our area. Now I have already warned Brad that we have to go. I might have said something like " your daughter will be in therapy and will say my parents would never take me to see the Wiggles". I am always the drama queen.

In other news lots of thinking going on in our home lately. It seems that we are all a little off kilter without Tiger. Still no sign of him. :0( Thank you for the kind thoughts. It has been so hot in our neck of the woods it is not even funny. I I am so excited that the new and last Harry Potter book is coming out. I had preordered the book and am waiting to see the movie when it comes out on Video. I do not think I can watch it in the theater too nervous. :0) Anyways, I am debating on going at midnight just since it is the last book. However, I can't find anyone to go with me. I think it will be even geekier if I go by myself. Well I have pictures to post but I am short on time today. I will post later. Hugs

My beloved Tiger is missing. Brad accidentely left the front door open and off he went. To say I am heartbroken is an understatement. Tiger is my baby. He sleeps with me and lays in my lap the moment I sit down. He is very loving towards Kiley and has always laid with the both of us. Please send some positive thoughts as it going on a week now. I miss my baby as does Kiley. Here are some pics of him..

Happy Father's Day

I made this for Brad. I hope you enjoy honey. I know it is a little early.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My goodness where has the time gone. :0) I was doing really well about blogging. Sorry! I do want to say to everyone, that I do still read all of my favorite blogs even though I do not comment. Business has been good for a while now. (Knocking on wood here) I am so thankful. I wish I could say that I have been able to take a paycheck. However, I am able to pay my business bills. That is a big step.

What I am struggling with is feeling worthy to get paid. I tend to be lienent as to payment. I don't know why. I feel bad for my clients. I trust them. Unfortunately this does not pay bills. Unfornately, this means I get burned sometimes. For instance, I had a client who owed me money. We get to court he tells me he has the money. I do the entire trial we get out and guess what all of the sudden he does not have the money. I was pratically in tears. I was furious. What irks me about this is that it has made me really leary as to other clients who I normally would give a break for (or work with). How do you keep the balance about being cautious and getting paid and working with folks. I really want to do the right thing but I need to protect my family as well. Any words of wisdom?

So here is the hypothetical situation..Say you come across a page on myspace of someone you know really well (and by really well) Ah hell here it goes...My sister ex's new girlfriend, you know the one that showed up at church last weekend, has a myspace page. Well I ran across it the other day and what do I find. A lovely post estentially critizing my nephew's first Communion my sister, and Catholicism. OK now I totally understand people criticizing my faith. Hey there are things I do not like about it. For instance, I would like to have gotten married in the church but we didn't as Brad is not a Catholic. Sure I was disappointed. Do I regret it not one bit. There are some major differences that I have with the church but I still respect my faith and attempt to follow it.

Back to the subject at hand, this woman (and really I think she is a disgrace to all women) essentially bad mouth my sister, and church. The problem I have with this and I really need to get over this. Is that my sister/family was extremely polite(too polite in my opinion) at the service to her. Essentially she was welcomed. I have to ask myself FOR WHAT...she goes and dishes on everything that essentially my family holds holy. Not to mention this young boy who was so excited to be receiving the sacrament..She just S***t on. So the reason why I am writing is that guess who is coming to my nephew's birthday party on Sunday..Yup...So I am taking a poll...

A) Do I confront her at the beginning?

B) Do I confront her at the end?

c) Do I confront at all..(THIS IS PROBABLY NOT AN OPTION as I am so pissed..but I am always open) ;o)

I leave you with a picture of Kiley. I think she is obsessed with her pacifiers..

I am embarrassed to say that Mother's day started a little early for me. On Friday I took my mother and treated us to a pedicure and manicure. Then we all went to dinner at our favorite mexican restaurant. It was sad in one way. As my mom and I sat there getting our nails done with really nothing to talk about. Nothing..Silence.. I wondered if Kiley and I would be that way. I really hope not. Not that we have an animosity with one another it was just well quiet. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to be Kiley's best friend. Although I would not mind. But it is my heart's desire to have a realtionship with her. A good relationship one where we communicate etc. This is something I don't have with my mom. Yes I know my mom loves me. She loves me in her way. Defintely not unconditionally. I have learned that that is how my mom is. Nothing more, nothing less. How can I prevent this from happening with Kiley? I certainly think my mom did not expect for our relationship to develop the way it did. I don't know and I wish I had the answers.

Mother's Day was a great day. I woke up to my baby girl next to me. Her little hand was touching my face. What a better way to wake up. Brad took over all of the baby duties which was nice. We spent the day at the pool and then went to church services that night. My two nephews made their first Communion so it was an extra special day. When my family gets together there is always drama. In this case, my sister's ex husband showed up to the church with his girlfriend. Classy huh! Well that would have been OK had I not read her page on myspace about the service. Lets just say B*&*&, That is the entry in itself..Anyways, during the service they had the blessings of the mothers. I must admit I felt like a fraud when the priest initially ask the mothers to stand up. But as I bowed down my head for the blessing my little girl lifted her arms for me to pick her up. My feelings at least momentarily were forgotten.

As mother's day approaches I found myself this morning reflecting on what kind of mother I am. What kind of mother do I strive to be? What type of mother did I think I would be? Do any of these meet? I looked at Kiley's little face and a big part of me has failed. I have failed to be who I thought I was going to be as mother. I turn out to be someone who is winging it. I guess I believe mothers have all the right answers. I honestly do not have all the answers. When I thin about it I have few answers ;0) I also believe mothers have the patience of a saint. I do not. Especially in a croweded restaurant where she decides to lay down on the floor with her back arch and scream bloody murder. I told you guys it was her nap time. Anways, what I do know is that I love that little girl with all my heart and soul ( I also love dh, kitties and doggie in the same measure). This morning I promised Kiley that I would be more patient, more understanding and maybe one day I can honestly earn the title of Mother.

Hi everyone! Our weekend was jam packed. It started by going out Friday night to do a little shopping.. Oh yes it felt so nice! There was this hot pair of shoes by Steve Madden that I just fell in love with but alas I restrained myself. Damn..Seriously I must have a shoe addiction because I have dreamt about those darn shoes. :o) Saturday we when to John and Krissy's graduation party. Now John and Krissy are dear friends of ours. Their parents are Kiley's godparents. Did everyone follow that? Anyways, their party was held at a wonderful restaurant downtown. No problem except the party fell at Kiley's nap time. I was a little worried about this. Bless her heart Kiley tried her darn est to hold off. She made it an hour past her nap time and bamm the trouble began. We left early. :0( Sunday we spent it at our good friend's pool. We had a wonderful time. Here are some pictures of our vacation.

Vacation what a wonderful word. Although ours was short it was awesome. The fun started early for both Brad and I as we watched Kiley light up when she saw us both at daycare. She thought that was the funniest thing ever that it was the two of us. We headed off from there! Let me tell you guys Kiley does not do well on long car rides. The two hour drive well was long. ;0) She was ready to get out and play by the time we got there. The hotel was outstanding and the view breathtaking. Kiley immediately made her self known by throwing kisses and saying hi to the nice ladys working at the check in counter. She immediately knew she was somewhere special. (Especially after getting a couple of mickey mouse stickers from the employees). We went to our room and then went down for an early dinner. We then walked by the beach to see the sunset. We did call it an early night. The rest of the vacation was spent in the sand and pool. I will post pictures on Monday.

Oh Yeah, what was up with Greys last night. I was not crazy about how they ended it.

Vacation

We are leaving tomorrow for Vacation. We are just going to vero beach for a long weekend. It is going to be a well needed break. I have court in the morning so we are leaving after that. We are actually going to celebrate our 7th Wedding anniversary. I cannot believe it has been seven years. I am one lucky girl. I cannot wait to see how Kiley will react to the beach. I bought her a new bathing suit and everything. We did take her last year to coccoa beach but it was only for a day. I am a little worried as to how she will do at the hotel. I will of course post pictures! till then surf's up! I know pathetic :0)

I will be the first to admit that I am supporter of women's rights. I believe that we should provide more support for women in all areas. However, I am defintely not, shall I say, over the edge with my opinions. I have learned in my years that there are times that one must keep your mouth shut. Unfortantely this would be easeir if I did not encounter stero types and a form of prejudice which are surprisedly still present. Honestly it drives me crazy. I am reallly amazed at some comments that I get in the courtroom. The most recent event occurred last Thursday. I will also admit that maybe I was not in the best of moods that morning but anyways..Let me preface this by saying that on this day it was what we call a master hearing. Essentially it is a first come first serve basis for the attorneys. Anyways, lets go to the scene shall we.
Court Room full of at least 100 people. Around 15 attorneys congregating with one another trying to determine in what order we are going. I mean we really could resolve this by having a list that we all sign when we get there but that would be too easy. Sorry I digress.
Attonrey G
: why don't you go first?
Me
I think you were here before me?
Attorney G:
Well all you women ask for rights. Isn't it your right to go first.
ME:
Uhm excuse me?
Attorney A: cutting in to save Attorney G as he knows me well
Dennise I think you here before me.
Me:
I believe I was..
Attorney G
Women always talk about rights let her go first.
Judge (who is my hero btw)
Ms. H (as a fellow Puerto Rican he refuses to acknowledge my marriage, it realy does come from a place of love)
Can I begin MY COURTROOM
ME:
sure your honor! I, a WOMAN and more importantly an attorney, will go first!

I took this picture of Kiley yesterday and I just love it.

Here is Kiley this weekend. Brad's company just came out with flip flops in Kiley's size. Brad took this video of Kiley wearing them to send to a buyer. I thought it was cute.

Easter

Happy Belated Easter everyone. We had a wonderful day. I must admit Kiley is such an easy baby. We are really spoiled. I read at the Good Friday mass as well as on the high mass on Easter Sunday. Normally reading for me is the most wonderful thing in the world. However, I know how busy and honestly how long these masses are so I was a little worried. I worried about Kiley and how she was going to handle it. No Kiley always does really well at church. She is active as any 17month old going on 17 years old are. But she is never disruptive. On a side note, it is my belief that one should not shy away to go to church because of fear of how their child is going to act. They are children, they will make noise, they will eat. We as parents need to get over it. My priest is really good about promoting this with our parish. Yet, I will admit that I still get nervous and I don't want her to cause a scene. Anyways, given how busy and long both masses were going to be she was not going to have the normal room to walk around the pew etc. But she was wonderful! Yes she was active but no screaming, no dramas. She only got upset when she could not see me. At the Easter mass she was sharing her cherios with a cute little boy who was sitting in front of her. It was really sweet!! I wish I could have taken a picture. Alas, I think Father Clark would not find that to be really cute.

After mass and her fighting nap we went over to Abuelas and had a big feast. We did hunt for eggs. Kiley was really into it this year. She would pick up and egg and just shake it. This year was different for me as Kiley last year we had barely been home three days. She was so small and was holding on to me for dear life. This year she walked outside on her own and played with her cousins. It hit me again how much she is grown. It also hit me that we are a family. I love moments like that.

a year ago

A year ago today, we became a family of three. A year ago today my little girl was placed in my arms by a wonderful strong woman. I will never, never forget that day. I will always give praise and be humbled by that day. I was so scared but at peace all at the same time. My heart was broken but overjoyed. I was so worried about getting pink before she was placed in my arms after that I knew it was going to happen. Brad tells me that this day is only important to us, but I disagree. I think all of us who are families understand the significance of the day you became/become a family. We all understand that bond, that love. it does not matter how you became a family you still know that exact day and minute. You remember it. You never want to forget it. For me losing my memory would be horrible because I would not be able to remember this day. No other love could be this big and strong. My mom was right when she would say, "the day you become a mom you will understand". I never thought I would feel so passionate, so loyal over one person. I mean I am loyal to Brad, but I mean really...if he cheated on me or god forbid did anything towards me or Kiley..well you know. Anyways it is different for Kiley. I will always be here. I will always forgive her. I often wonder if this is what I hear God is like. I hear all the time that his love is unconditional, that we will always be forgiven, but honestly I have never could relate to it. I could never understand why would God do that..then he sent Kiley to us. Now I understand. So my daughter has been home for a year. She has grown up so much in the year.
Kiley...Mi pricensa
Que mucho te quiero. Que much alegria no has trajido a tu papi y a mi en este ano. A year ago today Tia Mirina placed you in my arms. You were so little and so brave. You did not shed a tear. You looked at me which such trust. I hope never to disappoint you on that point. You have grown sooo much this year. You are walking and dare I say running. You have decided that Dora the Explorer and the Wiggles are the best thing in the world. As for talking, this past month your vocabluary has increased tremendously. You surprise us everyday with all of the amazing things you do. Kiley on this day we thank you for joining our family. We are so much better with you. I love you baby girl and I always will.

MIA

I am sorry I have been MIA. Drama Drama, Drama.. So I am sure you guys have been reading or have heard about the pet food recall..http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17650075/
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/22/pet.food.recall/index.html?section=cnn_latest


Well low and behold my kitties (we have two) have been eating a brand which has been recalled. I have been wondering why they have been sick lately. I could not figure it out. We took them immediately in after hearing of the recall. Yup they were in renal failure. I felt terrible. I felt terrible giving them the food and also that I had not taken into the vet sooner. All week they have been at the Vets. My poor babies. They came home last night. Trust me when I say they are not happy campers. We have to take them in everyday for IV treatments. The good news is that they are now out of danger. The bad news is the vet bill . Mama Mia!!! I don't mind I do anything for my babies. But when I saw the bill I must admit I about croaked. To think it still not done. So here are pictures of my babies.



This is Tad. He is the oldest at 11 years. I know it is not the best picture of him, but it is all I have of him in this camera.
This is Tiger. He is 10! He sleeps in Kiley's crib during the day.
Here is another one of Tiger. I just love his sweet face.

Darn it, my camera batteries just went down..UGH. I wanted to post pics of Ms. K. Oh well I will do it on Monday. Have a great weekend everyone...

Strawberry festivel.

This past weekend we went with Kiley's God parents to the strawberry festival in a neighboring town. The town is known for it's strawberries and so every year they throw a big festival. Kiley was Miss Diva the entire day. I really don't know what got into her. She wanted to walk but there were sooo many people there that I had to keep her in the stroller. She was not happy about this at all. Fits and tantrums. I don't think I have ever prayed so hard. :-) But then there was yesterday, more on that later. It was a great day though. We had lots of fun and ate lots of strawberries., chocolate covered strawberries and strawberry shortcake. Brad took her on this big slide. It was really high. She absolutely loved it. I beleive my daughter is going to love roller coasters like her daddy. It was nice to have good fellowship and be out and about.

Kiley did start a new daycare this week. She is being taken care of by "Ro Ro" who is a lovely older women who takes care of a few children at her home. So far so good. Kiley threw a fit yesterday when I went to pick her up. She did not want to leave. She even slapped me in the face when I picked her up. I wanted to cry. She really hit me hard. Poor "Ro Ro" she apologized to me about it. My nephews hit my sister and brother in law in the face and I think that is where she learned it from. I sternly told her know and looked her right in the eye. But, I don't know what to do if that ever happens again. Yikes I can not imagine what the terrible twos are going to be like when we are just 16 months. Any advice?? I will post some pictures from the weekend tomorrow as I forgot my camera today.

scaling back

I will selfishly admit that I am a material girl. I love my name brands. I love my louie vuitton purses, Manolo Blahink shoes. You get the picture. Well I am having to scale back. As stupid as this sounds I have resisted this idea. What is it about our possessions that drives us to not be able to part with them. I guess the better question is what is it about our society that makes it seem or attempt to makes us think that someone is better if they posses these items or drive this car. Do these items make us happier. I have been asking myself these questions as I have been struggling to give these items up. The answer is no. So here I am looking at turning in my lovely Infinit M35 and buying a mini van. No more Infiniti or BMWs. Brad says to consider it not necessarily the brand but the car payment. In my head I totally get this. I really do. I know the big picture. I see Kiley in the van and the giggles coming from her. The question is what kind of person have I become where this is difficult for me. My spiritual director posed an intersting question about this. She asked me what do these things mean to me. I guess to mean in a way it means I have failed in my firm. I totally know that I just started this firm but there is that nagging feeling. My unrealistic expectation of starting this firm and people banging at my door has not been met. I hate when my expectations get in the way, don't you.

First, I want to give a big shout out to Angel. I am so excited to say that they are going to start a domestic adoption. Isn't it wonderful. Go over to her blog and give her some blogger love. Angel.. I hope and pray for a smooth adoption trip for you and your family this time around.

I will admit I would love to start another adoption. First selfishlly because I would love to have another child. Not that Kiley is not the light of my life. As I have described in my prior posts, she really has completed me. But it is because she is so much fun. Being a mom is probably the funnest job I have. I mean yes, I get angry at her divaness. Trust me she has already started. But I love going into her room and seeing her laying on her side. Or rolling over in the morning and she is looking at me. I especially love holding her hand as we say grace every night. I love her love of life. Anyways, given our finanical situation. Or let us call it the crisis of 2007. :0) We have our plans on hold. Yes I am upset about this. However, I have faith that I will be ok with this part of our journey.