craziness

Sorry that it has been a while since I posted. I have been really crazy at work. These late hours are killing me.. Lets see..we met with our case manager last Friday night. She was optomistic that this law was not going to be passed on the third reading. The third reading is where all of the major debates are held. She said that the third reading was suspended. As I am quickly and unfortunately learning my case manager and agency does not seem to be upto date. Today, I learned that the reading was not suspended just postponed and quess what...it is scheduled to be read next week. So please pray, send good energy towards this whole situation.

We decided against me traveling to Brazil. But that is OK, I have movie dates with my best friend scheduled and I really need to train for my next triatholon. It will be great. The only problem will be that Brad will be gone when the law stuff is decided or if we get a referral. It is really difficult to get a hold of him while he is in Brazil so it should be interesting if anything happens. Thank God for the Internet. Hee Hee.

Oh our good friend Brian is comming again at the end of October, I am so excited. We are planning to head to Universal Halloween Horror Nights while he is hear it should be great...

On a different note My good blogger friend Deanna is having a rough time right now so please head over to her blog and show her some love.

Brazil and other stuff

The law was scheduled to be read yesterday did not get heard due to some other issues that needed to be heard first by the government. I am guessing that it will be read when the third reading was suppose to take place which is next Tuesday.

Still no referral..Going on week two since the first issue, but who is counting...

On a differnt note,Brad might be going to Brazil for a business trip. I am hoping that I can tag along. I went to Brazil a couple of years ago and fell in love with the country and the people. It is so beautiful..and the food...oh my God I swear I gained like 10lbs...It would be cool to take a vacation and get away from the whole adoption issue. It seems that I have been consumed by it lately. But really, how do we stop thinking/obessing about it?? Anyways, I need to go because I really do need to work on my tan. Priorties!!! The summer time is just about to begin in Brazil so the timing is perfect.

As you guys know I am still new at this blogg thing so I have not figured out how to add pictures to the main page, but I added a picture of Brad and I to this post. I hope to add it to the main page. If anyone knows how to do it please let me know..

law update

...so the law was passed the first time on September 13. It is scheduled to be heard again tomorrow the 20th. I am praying that it does not pass the second time. We will see...I did send a mass email out to our family and friends to help support Focus on Adoption and to write to our senator to prevent this from happening. I know that the good Lord is in control and whatever is going to be will be...but you know it is not as easy as it sounds. Overall though, I feel like I am doing well with it... We don't have a referral yet which is OK too...Of course it would ease my mind a lot, but hey what ya going to do...This weekend was very busy...we had church events, Brad had to work and it was my baby sister's 28th birthday. Now, I am really tramautized that she turned 28. I just can't fathom that. I remember the day she was born. My older sister and I sat on the bed in the room she and I shared and listened to my grandmother on the phone with my dad as he told her that it was another girl....it was crazy...now she is this beautiful women, wonderful mother...(and I know that I am getting old...remember folks it is always about me...HEE HEE) No really, it just makes me so proud to be her sister...

Taking a step back

Ok,..so now that I have calmed down I can actual focus on staying positive. Yesterday we get an email from our case manager attempting to mend the fences. To her credit she immediately answered Brad's email in which he told her how upset I was. She apologized and stated that the Guatamalen attorney was dealing with many agencies and he presented the baby to many agencies and that is how the problem arose. HUH??? Ok, so that was not really positive. . Anyways, so she wants to meet with us this weekend to go over our paperwork, make sure it is all there and correct. Wish me luck...She also, told me that I really should be concerned with the Ortega Law which is going to be up for vote before the Congress of Guatemala which is to occur on September 13, 2005. The law would essentially curtail or stop international Guatemala Adoption. Ok so I am not being positive, I am totally freaking out. In order for this not to affect us we have to have a referral and have a power of attorney signed. I don't know where to turn right now. I am trying so hard to let go and let the universe work this whole situation out. But to be honest it is really hard. I really did not mean for this to be negative. I am really sure that everything is going to work out. I am holding on to that faith.

Helplessness

warning very negative and bitter post with very bad language!!!!

As you can tell from my earlier posts things were really and in all reality are going well. I just need to vent about how fucking shitty my agency is. So again BE FORWARNED BITTERNESS/NEGATIVITY, HELPLESSNESS AND BAD LANGUAGE FOLLOWS

As you know my case manager had her baby two weeks ago so we have been dealing with her sister-in-law and my case manager. This is until my case manager returns from maternity leave. Friday night at 5:30pm I get an email on my blackberry from our case manager. She states "Dennise today a three day year old baby boy became available attached is his medicals let me know what you guys think. I know you guys are really intersted in infants and this child seems perfect for you two". I start screaming and crying and I call Brad as he is on his way home. He, bless his heart, cannot make out what is going on. I finally get everything out and he says well lets rush home. I open the email and there is this beautiful boy, with a ton of dark hair. He is perfect. I immediately email back our case manager who I will call bitch from now on, and I write that we are interested and to pass along the name of the attorney and ask about the $$$ which would be due at acceptance of referral. We hear nothing. We fly to Charlotte to see my dad and I am checking my damn blackberry every five minutes for more information but we get nothing. Brad convinces me not to call or email anymore, He tells me that it is a holiday weekend that this is normal and for me to calm down and try to enjoy the time with my dad who I had not seen in 6 months. OK I agree...but we hear nothing all weekend. Agian, it is not like I am in butt fucking egypt...I am in Charlotte NC and I have a fucking blackberry. My boss emailed me plenty of times..Today, first thing in the AM, I email the bitch's sister in law and tell her what I told the bitch. The sister in law tells me that Bitch is back to work from maternity leave and she will get in touch with me and answer our questions. Great, no problem. Did Bitch get in touch with me..at 9:00pm tonight I get an email on my blackberry from her...This is what it says..."I am sorry to tell you that the baby has found a forever family"..."i will let you know when more infants become available" What the fuck??? How dare she fucking send us a referral, not get back in touch with us to let us know what was going on...Not even give us the fucking opportunity to accept the referral. I don't fucking get it and I am so fucking mad and upset...Is this how this thing is going to work because I can't deal with that..I can't....We tried domestic but after our failed match I could not continue so we decided after much prayer to go international and now it seems like the same fucking thing keeps happening...Am I going to be a mommy??? My heart is telling me no.. all I can say is that my heart is broken. I stare at Brad's face as he is sleeping realizing how close we were to being parents and the anger and sadness is overwhelming...I don't understand how they can send referrals to a bunch of people..I don't know how they can play with people that way...I am sorry this is so depressing and bitter and angry but that is what is in my heart right now...I no longer am going to be dealing with the agency, Brad will be the contact. I don't know if we are going to stay with this agency but right now they have our money....

progress

When I sit back and look at this week I realize and am thankful as to the fact that we have had progress on our adoption. The contact from INS replied to my email and phone call. Can you believe I only called and emailed once..I know, surprising huh.. I told you guys I was growing...LOL...Also, I sent our complete dossier to the sec. of state to get notarized. They called me up and said I had sent too much money...that I believe is a first. The nice lady at the office said that the department can't send refunds and she did not want to take the extra money from me as she knows how expensive it is to adopt. I thought that was so cool...Anyways, she is going to hold our paperwork until Tuesday when she would receive our new check. She said it would only be one day turn around. One more step down, I can't describe the relief I feel. Now I only have to send our dosseir to the Guatemala Consulate in lovely Miami Fla. Then down to Guatemala the paerwork goes...Can you hear my sigh of relief...