This much I know is true... God blessed the broken road and led me straight to you!! Yes God blessed the broken road and led me straight to you!

-AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Kick out total days so far: 5
Mood: You don't want to know!

Bad News

KICKED OUT!!!
Yup for an error on the Guatemala side. It appears that our lovely social worker did not put a clause in her report which specifies that Kiley's birthmother could read, write and sign. No one can tell us how long this is going to be. I hope our social worker is kind to us. Please remember it took her 3 weeks to write the report. God knows how long it will take her to fix this. Please pray I make it through the baby shower tomorrow.

Silence

Is silence golden? I think sometimes it is..Like when you are meditating, or really engrossed in a good book or trying to meet a deadline. But not when you are waiting to hear from a case manager. ;-)

I must be honest. I am tired of hearing people telling me to enjoy this time of silence because the house will never be the same. Your life won't be the same. You will not be able to sleep. Oh yeah and forget about taking a vacation or playing suduko. Why do people feel it necessary to tell you all the bad things. Furthermore, is the fact that I can't play suduko and rather spend time calming a crying little girl really a bad thing? Now don't get me wrong I fully expect my life to change. I am sure that I have no clue how it is going to change. But my beef here is that there are very few people who support couples who are pregnant or adopting. Have you noticed this. My good friends John and Robin are the exception here. They tell us everyday how wonderful, and yes difficult, parenting is. They tell us we are going to enjoy every minute of it. Now I seriously doubt that Kiley is going to be an angel and I am never going to have any problems and that I am going to enjoy every minute of her precious life but the point is it is the support that they give us by those little statements that is important.

Please indulge me as I dive a little further into this. My nephew is autistic. My sister works two jobs to be able to afford and pay for his medical treatment. She would also tell you that silence is not golden in her house. Anyways, our whole family is involved as we see that she needs the support. As wives, husbands, mothers, daughters, fathers, and sons, we need the support, we need encouragement in our daily lives. Not only the major things such as adoption, infertility, but a smile encouraging a mother with a screaming toddler, or maybe a sales clerk , someone on the subway. I don't know. I know I am horrible at this. Poor Brad. But you know what, I am learning. One of the gifts that our adoption has taught me is the need for support and the giving of support. So I am noticing these things when I go out. Hopefully I will be able to do something about it. Ok I am getting off my soap box, I guess I am reaching my tolerance level of unsupported comments by people that 1) have no business saying anything in the first place and 2) those that know better.

PGN: Day 18

Mantra: "we will be out of PGN anyday now"

More ramblings

Ok this baby stuff is becoming real. Is that a good thing or bad thing? I don't know, part of me is so excited and the other part of me is scared to death. What I do know is that I can't concentrate on anything. Hence my boss is not really happy with me. What can I say. I continuously check my email for any news. I make sure my cell phone is on with a full signal and full battery. Pathetic and really quite annoying. It has only been 14 days for goodness sake. Lisa and Karen I am in awe with your patience and perseverance. Hugs to you.

My best friend, Melody is throwing us a baby shower on the 25th. My mom and sister really wanted to throw me a shower as well so hence I am having two showers. Um not to excited about the latter, sorry Michelle, I am OK with it just feel guilty having two. Anyways the point is the Melody's shower is going to be at our house. As you can imagine my house is now officially a madhouse. Our goal for the weekend is to finish Kiley's room and clean the rest of the house and animals, (even the kitties..here Kitty Kitty). However, buying the stuff for Kiley has made the finality of the adoption real. It scares me, I don't want to jinx it. For instance last night we were at Target, (my favorite store) and we saw the cutest dress. I told B, that it would be a great dress for Kiley to come home in. So he picks out the 6mth size. I look at him like he is crazy and pick up (and end up buying) the 9mth old size. You see, I can't buy something 6mths because I don't want to be disappointed and sad if she is not six months when she comes home. Does any of this make sense. Maybe I am unrealistic, Maybe I am out of my mind. Ok don't answer that last part. Sigh I thought I had a reason and a method for this post but like everything I am doing right now, I don't make any sense and end up rambling...Sorry!!! Lets not forget our Mantra "We will be out of PGN anyday now"

Positive Thoughts:

1) Shopping for Kiley is fun!!!

2) B looks awful cute buying baby stuff.

Update

Oh this positive thing must be working. We got an update we (of course) are still in PGN but more importantly we got pictures of little Ms. K . As background we have never gotten an update since referral. Anyways, she is 13 pounds. Can you believe it. The medical reports states that she can lift and maintain her head up when on her tummy. She takes well her formula. Bright objects attract her attention, and she can follow them with her eyes. She responds socially and smiles, when you smile with her . Cool huh. Then I got beautiful flowers from Brad for valentines day. Nice huh. Now if only we can get out of PGN. That is our Mantra "we will be out of PGN Any day now !!!" come on everyone say it with me. I figure it cannot hurt . ;0)

I don't think I told you guys but Brad has been gone for over a week for business. So I have been kinda down. But I have such great friends John and Robin, and Krissy. They invited me over for dinner Sat night so I went over there and had a great time. Good food, Good wine...(lots ;0) of wine) What more can one say. Sunday I cleaned cleaned cleaned and had a great brunch with my mom.

I also finished our registry this weekend. The only thing we don't have listed is the car seat. There are so many....What type/brand of car seat did you guys register for ...Convertible, infant...I am so confused. Someone please help.!!!

PGN

Good news!! After 16 longs weeks in Family Court we just heard that we are in PGN as of Friday. I am so very thankful and hopeful. To think that we are in the final stages is incredible. I now ask my other PGN waiters to move over cause we are there with you. However, my mom always taught me to bring gifts whenever I go somewhere so I come with chocolate, tequila, valium, patience and big shoulders to lean on.... Please pray, send good energy and positive thoughts, whatever you choose, just please focus that the PGN Gods will let us all out quick....There are so many others who have been waiting so long and my heart breaks for them. See Lisa http://dominicscountdown.blogspot.com/ and Karen http://karenw.typepad.com/thelonglongjourney/ give them some encouragement .

It seems weird this process that at every stage there is some kind of hang up. Right now the US Embassy is making changes which is causing major delays in all areas of this process from the DNA authorization to Pink ( which in the long and short is the official slip to come down). It really is crazy and wrong on so many levels. But we are focusing on the positive now remember, so therefore we see the changes as the Embassy's attempt to improve the system. I know, I know.. (grin) Anyways, please celebrate with us. Hopefully we will ALL be out soon.

This weekend

Since I am on the new positive thought process I went ahead and re-register(is that a word) for our baptism class this weekend. I am excited it should be fun. I think it is going to be taught by one of my good friends who is awesome and a terror on a bike. She kicks my butt everytime we ride together. Anyways, the class is this Sunday. ( I know Super Bowl Sunday) B is ready to kill me, but in my defense, it is in the middle of the afternoon. Afterwords we are going over to our friends home (who just happen to live across the street) to watch the game and party. I do love football so it should be cool. However, what I am really exicted about is that on Sat we are getting really dolled up and going out to a nice fancy dinner. Isn't that cool!! I don't know where we are going B, is handling all the plans. He bought me this really nice dress specifically for this weekend. Hmm but he did not buy shoes..I just have to go shopping...I mean really you can't go out in a new dress with old shoes can ya? As you can tell I am really looking forward to it. I believe this positive thinking is working.

D, I will work on our name...(grin and hugs)