scaling back

I will selfishly admit that I am a material girl. I love my name brands. I love my louie vuitton purses, Manolo Blahink shoes. You get the picture. Well I am having to scale back. As stupid as this sounds I have resisted this idea. What is it about our possessions that drives us to not be able to part with them. I guess the better question is what is it about our society that makes it seem or attempt to makes us think that someone is better if they posses these items or drive this car. Do these items make us happier. I have been asking myself these questions as I have been struggling to give these items up. The answer is no. So here I am looking at turning in my lovely Infinit M35 and buying a mini van. No more Infiniti or BMWs. Brad says to consider it not necessarily the brand but the car payment. In my head I totally get this. I really do. I know the big picture. I see Kiley in the van and the giggles coming from her. The question is what kind of person have I become where this is difficult for me. My spiritual director posed an intersting question about this. She asked me what do these things mean to me. I guess to mean in a way it means I have failed in my firm. I totally know that I just started this firm but there is that nagging feeling. My unrealistic expectation of starting this firm and people banging at my door has not been met. I hate when my expectations get in the way, don't you.