Is silence golden? I think sometimes it is..Like when you are meditating, or really engrossed in a good book or trying to meet a deadline. But not when you are waiting to hear from a case manager. ;-)
I must be honest. I am tired of hearing people telling me to enjoy this time of silence because the house will never be the same. Your life won't be the same. You will not be able to sleep. Oh yeah and forget about taking a vacation or playing suduko. Why do people feel it necessary to tell you all the bad things. Furthermore, is the fact that I can't play suduko and rather spend time calming a crying little girl really a bad thing? Now don't get me wrong I fully expect my life to change. I am sure that I have no clue how it is going to change. But my beef here is that there are very few people who support couples who are pregnant or adopting. Have you noticed this. My good friends John and Robin are the exception here. They tell us everyday how wonderful, and yes difficult, parenting is. They tell us we are going to enjoy every minute of it. Now I seriously doubt that Kiley is going to be an angel and I am never going to have any problems and that I am going to enjoy every minute of her precious life but the point is it is the support that they give us by those little statements that is important.
Please indulge me as I dive a little further into this. My nephew is autistic. My sister works two jobs to be able to afford and pay for his medical treatment. She would also tell you that silence is not golden in her house. Anyways, our whole family is involved as we see that she needs the support. As wives, husbands, mothers, daughters, fathers, and sons, we need the support, we need encouragement in our daily lives. Not only the major things such as adoption, infertility, but a smile encouraging a mother with a screaming toddler, or maybe a sales clerk , someone on the subway. I don't know. I know I am horrible at this. Poor Brad. But you know what, I am learning. One of the gifts that our adoption has taught me is the need for support and the giving of support. So I am noticing these things when I go out. Hopefully I will be able to do something about it. Ok I am getting off my soap box, I guess I am reaching my tolerance level of unsupported comments by people that 1) have no business saying anything in the first place and 2) those that know better.
PGN: Day 18
Mantra: "we will be out of PGN anyday now"
2 comments:
I make it a point to smile at someone who is trying to comfort their crying child. Just this past weekend, on the plane, I smiled at a poor mom who was trying to settle her baby.
I can't wait for poopy diapers, loud cries and those soft little gurgle noises babies make.
I must say, most of our friends are excited about our adoption and I've been told more often than not that they can't wait to see us as parents.
I'm continuing with your mantra, you WILL be out of PGN any day now... you will...
I know what you mean about the negative comments, they really get on my nerves. It's so much nicer to hear people tell us that all the hardships we are going through will be totally worth it in the end because parenting is the greatest gift in the world...through good times and bad. I am getting a little tired of all the comments about how much our life is going to change. Like as though through 4 years of unsuccessful ttc that thought never crossed my mind? Like you I'm sure I don't even have the slightest clue to what extent our lives will change but I'm ready and I plan to embrace every moment!
My turn to continue the mantra...You WILL be out of PGN any day now...keep thinking positive!
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