Lightbulb

Lets get the adoption status out of the way shall we....It has been 14 days since we re entered and as of Sunday we are still waiting. ( Case Manager has a family emergency and will be out till next week so I have no news) We have been in PGN for a total of 39 days, five weeks. (But who is counting!!)

Ok with that out of the way I want to tell you about a wonderful lightbulb expierence I had yesterday. Sorry it is going to be long. As background I need for my sanity to work out. Trust me when I say need, I mean NEED to workout. I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who understands and accepts that part of me. So I go to Pilates twice a week, after which I do cardio for another hour and another day of Personal Training (the gym calls it Body Shock) and you guessed it Cardio. I like to torture myself so I do Triatholons and use to do Marathons before my knees said enough. Anyways, I am not trying to boast here. Really... I do this stuff as it helps my mind. I have struggled with an eating disorder for many many years along with having a bum liver so I need to work out.

Long story short, prior to joining my current gym I use to go to this little (now big) yoga studio called College Park Yoga. Here is the website http://collegeparkyoga.com/

The instructors Theresa and Calvin are amazing. They are the most spiritual and well rounded people I have met. I absoutlely love them. The type of yoga at the studio is "hot yoga". In other words you sweat your ass off. More importantly you sweat all the impurties, all the tension all the bad energy and you defintely clear your chakras. ( I know I am sounding hippie just go with it) Well last night I decided I needed to go to Yoga. I have been working like crazy and with the adoption I figured I needed to center. I needed to sweat. Plus my second chakra needed some TLC. So I went last night. I will freely admit I have not been in a good space about the adoption. I have been angry and sad. I have not wanted to write about it as not to be a bore and be a downer. Plus, I really want to remain positive. So for all those reasons I went to class. During the class Theresa and Calvin talk. They give their two cents about life if you will. Theresa was talking about the need to stay in the present and to let everything go. We cannot change what happened in the past and we certaintly can not help what is in the future. We only can deal with the present.

While she said this I was thinking "helloooooo that is easier said then done." Theresa continued and said essentially "each moment is important...each second is important..no moment is more important than the other.. we must honor each moment and give thanks for each moment...even if it is bad.... for we learn and grown in both.....Click...lighbulb went off...How arrogant have I been..She is right... each moment is important and by me worring (ok obsessing) I have missed a lot. I have given/missed those special moments with Kiley, with Brad, with my friends and family by this worrying. UGH..does this make sense.... In the end Theresa and everyone else has been right. For the current adoption status (which I will classify as bad) has taught me the value and importance of each moment. Damn it to hell we really do learn from each moment.... So there it is my friends ...Thanks for sticking to my long story..Namaste!

Mantra: we will be out of PGN any day now

PGN: Day 39, week five.