Emotions

Emotions are funny creatures. It seems at least for me that they take a life of their own. I try to control them but they seem to have a life of its own. Today is one of those days. Deep breathes. I really hate this feeling. I hate having panic attacks. My chest gets so tight. I can't breathe and I wait for everything to go wrong. Kind a like chicken little story. Remember the chicken keeps stating that "the sky is falling". I feel like the sky is falling. I feel like the world is falling. Really I am a sane person. The meds have help so much and I know that everybody has these type of days. Especially in my line of work. I was happy last night as one of Brad's dinner guests was a litigation attorney. The gentlemen asked Brad how I handled the stress. To which he replied "not very well". I laughed when he told me this. The other attorney made Brad feel really good as he is going through the same thing. He reminded Brad of how stressful our job is. How we feel so responsible almost to a fault. Brad said he described to him exactly what I go through. Waking up in the middle of the night to send an email to myself about some minor point. Or waking up in the middle of the night to go to the office to double check that something went out via the mail. Brad told me that he felt like finally someone understood him. He finally got that "you/Dennise is not the only one who goes through this." I was so happy for Brad. My husband is a great guy but I know he does not have a lot of people which he feels he can relate to. So there it is folks...I thought I would keep the blog real by letting you know how I feel today. All together inhale and exhale. Nah didn't work for me either :0) I am going to go call my therapist. :o)